XOF News

[Sigma_Orionis]

[Thumper]

Yep!

[grapes]

XOF No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition





Our Eleven Greatest Weapons Are Roberts, Thomas, Alito, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, and Barrett

Fear, Surprise, Ruthless Efficiency

And An Almost Fanatical Devotion to the Pope

[grapes]

XOF Hindsight is 50-50



What if Chris Pratt married Arnold Schwarzenegger’s daughter? Would their kids be Kennedys?

What if Kanye actually divorces Kim? Could he be legally ... reborn?

What if SCOTUS OKays prayer in public schools? Will we hear the muezzin from the principal’s office next year?

What if Sony re-releases Morbius, again? Would it do better at Christmas?

What if DC becomes a state? Could we fast track Texit, so we don’t have to change flags?

[grapes]

XOF Mugging


This mug is sold for a mere $18.99, online. We find it interesting that Trump is not on the list. But maybe they do trust Trump more than Biden, but they’re afraid to put Trump on the list, for fear someone could take that wrongly

Some people just can’t tell a joke properly

4BBFEA25-57B9-4CD0-97AC-51B2DC277632.jpeg

[Rommie]

I'm always amazed at how some of the MAGA crowd wrap their entire identity into this stuff. Like yeah, I voted Democrat and throw them a couple bucks at election time. I'm also delighted to stop thinking about politicians and elections whenever possible.

I also find it a big tell how much they assume liberals watch CNN all the time, and I meanwhile can't tell you the last time I sat down to watch CNN.

[grapes]

XOF HEADLINES ARE BACK




BIDEN BAGS A BIG BAD GUY, sez “I feel like a President now”

TESLA SET TO TAKE OVER TWITTER, new entity will be called RedVine

DANIELS DEFENSE ANNOUNCES JUNIOR VERSION OF AR-15, shoots harmless .22s

FBI RECORDS: J EDGAR HOOVER SLEPT WITH MARILYN MONROE, no, no she didn’t

SCIENTISTS WORLDWIDE ADVOCATE REMOVING M FROM STEM, “we all use metric now, no need for math”

[grapes]

XOF MAKING IT UP





NEW BOOK: HOW TO MAKE ANYTHING LOOK DIFFICULT, co-authors Joe Biden and Donald Trump

RAP NAME GENERATOR (color of underwear + last food eaten) SAYS MINE SHOULD BE WHITE CRACKER, o wow that works on so many levels

AVERAGE USAn SPHERE OF INTEREST HAS SHRUNK TO ABOUT 11 KILOMETERS, I mean seven miles

CONGRESS PASSES PRESIDENTIAL AGE LIMIT, popularly known as The Old Fuckwad Rule

[Thumper]

[grapes]

XOF The ORIGINAL Faux News




National Best Sellers

1. Sex and the City, Cleveland
2. Harnessing the Wind Without Choking the Earth
3. How To Make Millions From Seawater
4. 50 Shades of Gravy
5. The Rise of Trump (fiction)
6. JK Rowling’s World of Wisdom (fiction)
7. Sex and the City, Spokane
8. How To Draw Anime For Your Self Pleasure
9. Z Is For Zyzygy (fiction)

[lady_*nix]

LMAO

[grapes]

XOF REviews



Mack & Rita - If you thought the boomers were just going to give up and die quietly, you've got another think coming. They're spending their retirement nest egg in an all out PR assault, loudly insisting that their age is the ideal age, the same message that they've trumpeted for six decades. And there's still so fucking many of them! And, Diane Keaton.

Thor: Love and Thunder - The title says it all; if you've ever enjoyed a weekend in a love nest and were thor after, you know what I'm talking about. Or, when you were a kid and got invited over to someone's house and spent the afternoon reading their comic books because your parents limited your own purchases, and afterwards you could barely see, let alone walk, and you couldn't even remember which ones you had read, that is where the Marvel Universe is now. But we'll do it again next weekend, at someone else's house.

100 Years - We're probably premature in reviewing this film, which has a release date of 2115, but we're hoping that by doing so, we curry enough favor with the producers that we can score one of the invites to the premier. For our great great grandaughter, who is going to be a huge John Malcovich fan.

Shrek 5 - Again, premature. But there are trailers, and this portends to be a new and cuddlier Shrek, a Shrek that plucks his eyebrows and holds his voice down in polite company. WTFS

[grapes]

Just to be clear, in the distant future, it will be safe to be a John Malcovich fan. You won't have to worry about what John Malcovich would do if he found out you were a fan.

[Sigma_Orionis]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Being_John_Malkovich

[grapes]

And

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dangerous_Liaisons

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rounders_(film)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ripley%27s_Game_(film)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warm_Bodies_(film)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Con_Air

:: shudder ::

[Sigma_Orionis]

None of them as bizarre as Being John Malkovich

[grapes]

Agreed. What is?

Still, I’d rather not have it get around that I’m discussing ... you know

And 100 Years might be that weird ... WE JUST DON’t know

[Sigma_Orionis]

Just to be clear, in the distant future, it will be safe to be a John Malcovich fan. You won't have to worry about what John Malcovich would do if he found out you were a fan.

Being a John Malcovich fan after seeing this movie

[grapes]

XOF Favorite Quotes




Ernest Hemingway
Hills Like White Elephants
“Would you please please please please please please please stop talking?”

Dylan Thomas
Four Absentees, conversation with Rayner Heppenstall
“Somebody’s boring me. I think it’s me.”

Bob Dylan
Subterranean Homesick Blues
“The pump don’t work ‘cause the vandals took the handles.”

[grapes]

XOF Short Hot Take




KING CHARLES III CAN NOW WRITE THAT BOOK

TRUMP WILL MAGA, SUCCUMB TO APOPLEXY

SMART MONEY IS SHORTING “ANTIQUES”

NEXT ENVIRONMENTAL DISASTER: “SOLAR” ENERGY

BEN AND JERRY WILL ADD PARTNER, AMY

[grapes]

XOF PENURY GAMES





BILLIONAIRE VS WILD

MUSK’S MOM TAKES ON ALL COMERS

KEEPING UP WITH THE KENNEDYS

CHEF CHALLENGE: THE WARREN BUFFET

BILL GATES’ THE CODER, and CELEBRITY CODER

[grapes]

XOF FALL ASEA




The XOF Knew Book of Rhetorical Fallacies

Hypocritical Oath Fallacy
Anyone who accuses someone else of being a hypocrite is themselves a hypocrite

No Moderate Republican Fallacy
This replaces the RINO Fallacy, in that the Republican name is not allowed even for moderate nationalistic fascist pro-life capitalists

Denial Is Not a River in Egypt Fallacy
Never admitting anything, at anytime, even if you’re filmed lying back on a bed with your hands down your pants alone in a hotel room except for one other person not your spouse

New All Along Fallacy
Insisting you new all along that the spelling of neu was knew, ewe were just thumbing your knows at the glitterati who obviously our nothing but snowflakes with know sense of humor. And you unclassify everything in your head before you touch it (which may be growing into its own fallacy, we’ll wait and see)

Lawn Order Fallacy
Your home is your castle, peaceful protests are allowed by groups of less than one

[grapes]

XOF The X in XOF




Musk making progress on X

https://www.newsmax.com/finance/streett ... id/1090495

How it's going so far

http://www.x.com

[grapes]

XOF Fun With Dick and Karen





Personalizing silly meme characters has made them more accessible and instantly relatable, the whole goal of a meme anyway, but we’re running out of common and easily identifiable names. Names like Shiela (Australia) and Sigurður (Iceland, I think) have long been used as metonyms but social media has brought pressure to increase the use of common names as shortcuts to memetic conciseness. So, now, if you’re an up and coming med student your name is William, if you have an advanced case of psoriasis your name is Craig, if you have an addiction to Hallmark movies your name is Elaine, if you tend to ride slow in the fast lane your name is Boris (apparently borrowed from the Russian), if you drink single malt scotch your name is Ned (no idea where that came from). A complete list can be found at mymemery.mem

[Sigma_Orionis]

I am going to need some time to parse that one...